I have despised children ever since I can remember.
Every time I see one, I have the urge to throw it against a wall.
Metis wrote:Personally, I think human toddlers about the time they are learning to be human are kind of interesting but I’ve never wanted on of my own. I have been around a couple of them that belonged to my brother and a couple that belonged to girlfriends and that was quite enough. They are sort of fun as long as you can give them back when you are tired of playing with them.
The maternal instinct happens from the time the woman knows she is pregnant and will continue for the rest of her life.
LadySeverus wrote:The maternal instinct happens from the time the woman knows she is pregnant and will continue for the rest of her life.
I don't believe I agree with that. My own mother, while not entirely lacking in maternal instinct, is far less maternal than most women I know. My aunt, who went through 3 pregnancies, despises children every bit as much as I do. I've met a good many women who had little to no maternal instinct (via my job) and I can assure you there is nothing about pregnancy which creates maternal instinct. Nothing whatsoever. It either happens or it doesn't.
However, I'll give you some of my thoughts. You believe that children will disrupt your 'way of life' and the ability to sustain it. Hence the aversion to pregnancy and small children. This fact is made more aware by your liking animals. You find that animals are not a threat to the way you live, and even a substitute. I would hesitate to guess that when one of your animals is sick, you will look after it in quite a maternal manner, even worry about it. You will even show love. If I am correct, then you do, indeed, have a maternal instinct. It manifests itself in caring for these creatures.
Slacker wrote:Just out of curiousity....
What is your take on puppies, kittens, baby horses and the other small critters? What about baby monkeys?
LadySeverus wrote:I think that's a good point. I do love my animals and take very good care of them. As for changing, no not interested (though public discussion of the subject doesn't bother me in the slightest...I'm a pretty open individual.)
Honestly, I can't think of any practical reason why I would want to change, as A)my tubes are tied and therefore it is a moot point and B) having children seems to be the main thing to ruin a woman's life.
full article at link aboveWhy are People Having Fewer Kids?
Perhaps it's because they don't like them very much.
Ronald Bailey | February 26, 2008
The "demographic winter" is coming. So warns a new documentary of the same name. What is the demographic winter? The phrase, according to the film's promotional materials, "denotes the worldwide decline in birthrates, also referred to as the 'birth dearth,' and what that portends." The first half of Demographic Winter was previewed at the conservative Heritage Foundation a couple of weeks ago. According the film, the demographic winter augurs little good, e.g., economic collapse and social deterioration. If current trends continue world population should begin a steep decline sometime around the middle of the 21st century. Why?
full article at above linkDoes Fatherhood Make You Happy?
Sonora Smart Dodd was listening to a sermon on self-sacrifice when she decided that her father, a widower who had raised six children, deserved his very own national holiday. Almost a century later, people all over the world spend the third Sunday in June honoring their fathers with ritual offerings of aftershave and neckties, which leads millions of fathers to have precisely the same thought at precisely the same moment: "My children," they think in unison, "make me happy."
mtbturtle wrote:Couple of articles I found surfing around today that might interest some here on children and happiness...
http://reason.com/news/show/125163.htmlWhy are People Having Fewer Kids?
Perhaps it's because they don't like them very much.
raumgehll wrote:LadySeverus wrote:B) having children seems to be the main thing to ruin a woman's life.
Would you mind explaining why you think so? Many women have kids and lead the life they want.
LadySeverus wrote:Do you believe that maternal instinct is something present in every human female? If a female seems to lack maternal instinct, do you believe that this is do to genetics, to the way she was raised or to some other outside force?
I find myself in this unique situation. I'm an only child from a very small family who was never significantly exposed to other children at a young age. My mother is not overly maternal, and her sister absolutely hates children.
I have despised children ever since I can remember. The timber of their squalling voices makes my head feel like it's exploding. The younger they are, the more extreme my negative reaction towards them. I truly hate babies and toddlers and refuse to be in their presence.
I spent about 6 months in therapy a few years ago because my "baby-phobia" had progressed to the point that I was actually making quite rude comments to strangers when their children wouldn't shut up. Usually something along the lines of, "You know, both abortion and babysitters are relatively inexpensive, and had you chosen either option I might actually be able to enjoy my veal right now..."
I have never, ever felt anything other than revulsion towards babies. The entire act of pregnancy is so disgusting...letting a parasite live inside you, eat your nutrients, and then having it burst forth from your nether regions? Then you have this little squalling, mewling, defecating, urinating, vomiting, mass that takes up all your time and money and effectively robs you of anything resembling "a life." Why any woman would consider this endeavor is completely beyond me.
When I was 23, I was sterilized via the Essure method. I know that I simply am not a human being who is capable of raising a child. Every time I see one, I have the urge to throw it against a wall.
So my basic question here is why do you think some women lack any sort of maternal instinct? I've met numerous other women, especially via online forums, who feel as I do, so I know that it's not simply a case of me being insane (and in fact, I had to pass a psych test to acquire the job I've been at for almost 5yrs.)
-I can't have sex with my husband as often as I like. Either the kids are there or I'm too tired from dealing with them all day.
-I can't sleep as much as I need to, I'm too busy with the kids.
-I had a great body before I had children, now I have stretch marks, a looser vagina, and saggy breasts.
-I'd love to take that job but it would keep me away from my kids.
-I can't afford to buy x/y/z for myself because I have to spend that money on the kids.
-I'm always stressed from dealing with my kids.
-I need a better car/bigger house/new clothes/a medical procedure etc but can't afford it because of the money I spend on the kids.
-I'd love to join a social club/take up a hobby/travel/go out more etc but I can't because of the kids.
She's [my mother's] always been honest with me..."Yes, I love you, but raising a child also had a very negative effect on my life."
Sounds like a pretty ruined life to me. My mother says that if she'd known how much having a child would affect her life, she probably wouldn't have done it. My aunt had 3 children but gave them all away at birth and to this day is thrilled that she made that choice because she admits her life would have been far more mundane and boring had she been tied down to offspring.
Basically children decimate and destroy your life. Of course, parents talk themselves into believing their new lives are better because the alternative (that you've utterly ruined your life and there's no going back now) is incredibly depressing.
Personally, I have very little respect for women who over-sentimentalize the act of child-raising. My mother never felt the need to make motherhood sound like some Lifetime Movie Channel Mother's day special.
She's always been honest with me..."Yes, I love you, but raising a child also had a very negative effect on my life."
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